Been thinking about...

April 15, 2007 (approx. 243 lbs)

I've been thinking about a few things this past week:

Last year, my best friend and I were going for a drive together, talking excitedly about pregnancy and just life in general. She became very serious and said to me that she was worried about me and wanted her child to grow up having her "Auntie". I don't think I said much else to her on that drive and I remember coming home and crying. It was one of the defining moments that opened my eyes to who I had become. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to stop what I was doing to myself. It was almost a year ago, but I never forgot that day.

Now today it is exactly one month until my birthday. I got weighed in at Simply for Life and I have officially lost 64.2 lbs. One of the things I am constantly aware of is how much focus I put on my weight. I have heard of people who get so caught up, even obsessed with health and weight loss that they talk and think about nothing else. I do not want that to be me, so I'm hoping this blog will serve as a means of working through my thoughts and prioritizing my life. God is first in my life and I want to be "caught up" in Him. There was a time when I wasn't sure I would live beyond my 20s. Now I can't wait to be a healthy weight before I'm 30.

April 26, 2007 (weight 233.8 lbs)

April 26, 2007 ( glasses off )

I'm extremely excited that I'm going to be seeing Superchic[k] in concert on my birthday. One song of theirs has really inspired me. I had leukemia as a teenager and the experience changed my life. I realized then that life was precious. We need to savour every moment God has given us. Unfortunately, over the years I began to lose sight, getting lost in my food addiction. I think about who I was and who I am now and realize I need to live my life to the fullest, be who God really wants me to be.

We live, we love,

We forgive and never give up

Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above

And today we remember to live and to love

("We Live" by Superchic[k])

The Journey Begins...

Okay, so blogging is not my forté...yet!

I have been wanting to do something like this for awhile now but, procrastinator that I am, just never took the time to start. Writing is a passion of mine that has slowly faded into the dust-ridden corners of my increasingly busy life. When a friend of mine suggested that I do a blog about my experience with weight loss I was inspired and started praying about the idea. I'm writing now at midnight and my eyes are slowly starting to close, but I am excited at the opportunity to express myself through various ramblings!

Thus begins my journey on a path to health, self-discovery and faith in the One who makes all things new.

Giving Up, Giving In

Christmas 20o6 (beginning wt 298 lbs)

It is hard to believe that it was only 10 weeks ago that I started the weight loss program Simply for Life.

I was caught in a wicked cycle of binge eating, eating to relieve stress, anxiety, or just out of habit. In the past 2 years, I ended up going on blood pressure medication and I was starting to have pitting edema (swelling) in my legs. I was headed for danger not only physically, but spiritually as well. My relationship with God was starting to feel pretty superficial. I really felt like much of the time I was just going through the motions and I really hated that feeling! I was letting food control my life; it was my focus...my idol. I knew that I had to let God take back control of my life, but I felt hopelessly stuck, trapped in my own addiction. I had tried dieting in the past but would yo-yo back and forth in my weight. I joined Curves which is an awesome exercise program for women. The exercise was working for a brief period, but I had changed nothing about my eating habits. I went to Curves less and less, gaining back the weight in frustration. Honestly, I was scared out of my mind.

Some ladies that I know told me that they had joined Simply for Life. After a week or two these girls were having results. I had heard that some people on this program have lost a lot of weight, but I was skepctical at first, having been jaded by many unsuccessful attempts at weight loss. I finally broke down and figured I'd at least go in for the free consultation. So, I made an appointment and before I even knew what had happened, I had signed up for a year with them. Well, I thought, this is my last resort. I have to do SOMETHING.

Feb 28, 2007, 3 weeks after starting SFL (approx. 272 lbs)

The first week I lost 13.4 pounds of fluid and the edema in my legs was virtually gone. Over the past several weeks the pounds have just seemed to melt away from my body. The biggest thing was the difference in how I FEEL. It wasn't until I started losing weight that I realized how bad things really were. I had started to lapse into depression. I am a quiet person but I had even less confidence and part of me had wanted to just give up on life.

Mar 25, 2007 (approx. 260 lbs)

I was again motivated at Curves and exercising to help tone up and increase my weight loss. After losing some of my weight, I started getting excited about so many things, even silly little things people take for granted:

-sitting in a chair and actually feeling comfortable!

-sitting in the car and not worrying that the belt will go around you!

-walking, talking, singing and not being short of breath all the time.
-decreased swelling in my legs
-feeling more confident and positive as a person.
-putting God first in my life